Should I let go

I have been with this guy for 11 years and we’ve been through a lot. We have two boys and one is Autistic and has cancer. I live in my own apartment and he lives with his parents. He is an accountant. Lately, he’s been ignoring me and the kids, saying he’s too busy. Should I just let go of this relationship?

On the surface of it, the relationship does not seem very good but I personally like to think I give things every chance before letting them go. So let me offer some thoughts and you can then decide with a clearer mind what you want to do.

Firstly, why doesn’t this guy live with you? Is this a relatively recent arrangement or have you always lived apart. Do you have a set arrangements for visits and his share of the responsibilities? If he’s neglecting these, I suggest you ask him straight out what he wants as you have a right to a life too. Perhaps he’s met someone else and is reluctant to tell you, but in your position, you’d be better off knowing.

I certainly wouldn't let this situation continue indefinitely. Force a showdown if you have to but get some answers and be ready to move on if it becomes clear that this guy doesn’t want you or your family anymore, or is just using you as a convenience.Could I just offer one comment about your son? He is a very special gift. Someone who has two such serious conditions must be a very special soul and if he’s in your care, then you must be very special too. Never forget it.

Body Talk Column is hosted by Charmaine Saunders. www.charmainesaunders.comSend your requests to attention Charmaine.