For most of us, education about safe sex was limited to its potential pitfalls: unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. It left out crucial components such as pleasure, exploration, and accountability. With the relatively new modernization of technology, sex education is even more lacking. So, below is a guide to safe sexting habits that will help you avoid the hazards and get the most out of it at the same time.
Though you won't have to worry about STDs or pregnancy, there are still a few things most people need to avoid to ensure their safety. Safe sexting consists of several different elements, including consent, legality, and privacy.
First, you'll need to find someone willing to sext you. The best way to get consent is to ask them if they'd like to sext. Pressuring someone into sex is a universal turnoff, and worse, it doesn't involve consent. So, skip the pressure and just ask. Once you've found someone, you're ready to get started.
Next, there's the legal component. Everyone involved in sexting needs to be at least 18 years old. If you can't be sure, it's not worth the risk. Some sites will do the age-checking for you, so if you're not very familiar with the person you're sexting, make sure to use a site that will do the legwork for you.
Last on the list is privacy. Consider your privacy carefully before you get started. If you're going to be exchanging photos, leave out any identifying features like your face, tattoos, or birthmarks. Revenge porn is unfortunately something that we have to deal with, so use your best judgment.
Also, don't give out private information unless you trust the person. Common sense goes a long way here, but it can also be difficult to keep your head about you when you are sexting. If you make a game plan beforehand, things tend to go much smoother. Again, if you're not familiar with the person you're sexting, find a site that will keep your information private.
Boosting Your Pleasure
Sexting isn't all about self-protection; it's also about connecting with someone you're attracted to and having a good time. Once you've taken care of the above precautions, it's time to make sure that you're ready to sext.
Sexting, at its best, is a fun, creative expression of your inner desires. An excellent way to make sure you both have fun is to check in often. Ask your sexting partner if they like what's happening. You don't have to put the dirty talk on pause; instead, just practice incorporating consent into your dirty talk. Ask if they're ready for what's next, or ask if you can see them in a certain state of undress. If you know your partner is game, asking for exactly what you want can put a fun, dominant spin on your sexting. Whatever you do, stay positive in what you say to your partner.
Getting Into the Mood
If you'd rather keep it low-key, make sure you're as relaxed as possible before getting started. Do some yoga, take a hot shower, or engage in whatever makes you feel the calmest. Then, use your creativity. Even if you're not setting up a role-play scenario with your partner, you can always role-play as someone very comfortable sexting to ease your nerves. It's not pretending as much as it is accessing your inner, bold sexual persona.
Or, be completely honest about how you're feeling. Just tell them you're feeling a little bit nervous. Hearing that they are, too, might help you realize there's nothing to worry about. Don't be too hard on yourself, and remember that the goal is to have fun, not to be an iPhone Casanova. The more practice you get, the more natural it will feel.