We all know how the love story goes. Girl meets boy, they date, get into a relationship then boy leaves girl heartbroken. Where does the girl go? To her friends for a shoulder to cry on.
Or does the story go like this? Girl meets nice guy she wants to date but -friend-zones' him instead. These days, to -friend zone' someone is to put someone you care about very much as a friend, hence the -friend zone. The reason the girl does this is she feels she can only see him as a friend but cares about him deeply, afraid to lose him. She then goes for another guy that would on more than one occasion upset her before he leaves and breaks her heart. The girl goes back to the guy she placed in the -friend-zone' commenting that she wished she could date a guy like him. Here's a twist, both of them have feelings for each other but both are just too scared to ruin their friendship. Confusing? Weird? It sure is to me. A lot of girls would be thinking -Why didn't she go with the nice guy in the first place? Why did she go with that jerk who treated her like crap' when they themselves could have done the same thing too.
The question is: Why does this happen? Why would a girl place a nice guy in the -friend zone' and go out with someone who doesn't treat her right?
From my own experiences and from some discussions with my friends, guys and girls, it appears there is one thing holding them back: fear.
Fear or what? One might ask. Fear of hurt, rejection, or even creating an awkward situation between them seems to be the only thing holding them back. This leaves the girl to search for a guy to date knowing that if it doesn't go well with him, she will always go back to the nice guy she -friend zoned' crying. Then she has two choices, either go out with the guy she -friend zoned' or find another guy. In most cases, it is the latter due to the fact the girl is scared and fears of losing the only guy that would care about her and accept her, flaws and all.
Now I know there will be people denying it and guys saying that they aren't scared of dating their friend that they have a crush on and use excuses such as 'They aren't ready yet" or 'It's not the right time, I will ask later."
That's cool, but when it comes to them actually doing the actions, asking the friend they have a crush on out or even starting a relationship with them, they just can't do it. Why? The reason is because they don't want to break a friendship that they have worked hard on. More than once have they tried to actually confess their feelings but stop because of many reasons. These include the person they have got a crush on has just got a new partner, leaving them heartbroken. Or they lost the nerve because they still fear they would get rejected. Lastly because something has happened and they have to help the friend they have a crush on get better resulting in getting placed in the -friend zone' once more, as it would be a bad time to reveal their true feelings.
It's a sad recurring story that has happened many times to many guys all around the world. This is no joke on them. It's a harsh reality to them as they watch the girl of their dreams go with someone else. They are placed in the -friend zone' by a girl they have a crush on, which breaks their confidence of ever getting a woman. This can make them stand in front of a mirror for a long time, and questioning what went wrong or how is it that a guy who they know mistreats women get the women while they, the nice guys are left in the cold all alone. There they stay and wait for the girl to come to them with their problems, being the guiding light and the warm flame for them and supporting her to show that they still care. Their feelings towards the girl have not changed and they once again make her smile, which makes them smile in return and there, even for a few minutes, a warm and comforting glow between two lovers shines for a little while. Their love for the girl never changed even when she left them for another man.
So what is the solution to this problem? It is really quite simple for everyone but it's hard to do. Girls, if you are single and have a guy friend who you have -friend-zoned' that cares about you so much, just spend more time with him and get to know him. Life is too short to waste on people who would treat you badly so spend your life with someone who is worth sharing it with. It won't be long before you truly open your eyes to discover that perhaps he has been the one you have loved all along without realising it.
How can I tell? You ask. Well there are many ways to tell. The signs are all in the little things such as body language and the actions the guy would do for you. Examples would be that the guy will always find the time for you, be there to support you and does small things to know that they still care. You would also do the same thing for them by supporting them, finding time for them and do the little things to show you care and with these actions the both of you might be bringing out the best in each other. The best boyfriend or partner might not be rich, famous or handsome (those are just bonuses). They could be the guy you have -friend-zoned' accidentally who knows how to make you smile when you are down, care for you and will never turn you into someone that you don't want to be. This guy can also promise you that as long as you help them make the relationship work, through all the arguments, they are going to stay with you until the end of time.
By Tania Prestidge