Discovering our partner is having an affair with someone else can be the most devastating thing we may ever experience - worse even than a death some say, because its emotional fallout can be so damaging, often lingering for years and damaging subsequent relationships. But it doesn't have to be that way...infidelity CAN have a positive outcome
Infidelity is a heart wrenching experience for anyone to go through. When you find out the partner you love has been unfaithful to you, it can shake you to the core and tear your life apart. However sometimes it takes something bad to create something good and infidelity is often that wakeup call that leads to a new beginning and creating a better life for yourself.
Internationally best-selling author and private investigator, Julia Hartley Moore knows it all because it's all happened to her. Julia tells it like it is in her new revised edition of the international bestseller, Infidelity: Exploding the Myths. Her client's stories are incredible true stories of infidelity, and would make for great extracts, as would Julia's tip lists on how to spot a cheater, how to stay safe when dating online, why women are better cheaters than men and the myths around infidelity.
But the real lessons come with Julia's own remarkable true life story, told here in print for the first time. From rock bottom as a 16 year old mother of three children, Julia has survived three marriages, betrayal, and abuse to become a successful international businesswoman and author. Newly married to the man she calls "the love of my life", Julia says that "in love, you only have to get lucky once." Julia will show you that infidelity is not the end of the world and that it's never too late to find true love.
Extract from Infidelity by Julia Hartley Moore:
'A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.' - Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
"It's taken me four marriages and half a lifetime to know the real truth in those words. I've had my share of bad men and tough times, but believe me when I say it doesn't have to be like that. Nowadays I am married to the man of my dreams, I am an internationally published author, TV and radio personality and a successful businesswoman who runs an international private investigation company. Getting there wasn't easy, but the good things never are. Back when I was 15 you could have written down what I knew about boys and human nature on the back of a postage stamp. The truth was, at 15 I wasn't interested in boys - my love was directed elsewhere, at a rather rotund 13-year-old strawberry blonde chestnut mare. I spent every moment I could with her; we were inseparable. The only problem was every time I rode her home I had to pass a house that was littered with old cars and boys tinkering with them. So it was inevitable, I suppose, that the girl with the strawberry blonde hair atop the strawberry blonde mare would create a diversion. And that's how it started. I didn't know how old he was, the one who eventually caught my eye, but he seemed to be the alpha male of the pack: good-looking and mature. He was 25."
Infidelity Exploding the Myths
Author: Julia Hartley Moore
Question: What are the myths of infidelity?
Julia Hartley Moore: That given half a chance all men will cheat -untrue, there are good men out there!
That men cheat more than women -untrue, woman are just better at getting away at it!
That your partner's mistress or lover is younger, slimmer, prettier than you. Untrue, they're just new, willing and able.
Question: What signs does the average cheater give their partner?
Julia Hartley Moore: A change in normal everyday behaviour like:
Constantly monitoring their cellphone, not letting you near it.Monthly bank, phone, credit card statements, etc, sent to work not home.
Question: At what point does a man go from being a cheater to a sex addict?
Julia Hartley Moore: I agree with Hugh Hefner (If anyone's an expert, it's him!) -there's no such thing as sex addiction, its just a cop out for 'greedy guys'
Question: How does one choose whether they leave or stay with their partner?
Julia Hartley Moore: It comes down to you and your personal values and what kind of ground rules you and your partner established when your relationship got serious.
Interview by Brooke Hunter