Like falling leaves in Autumn, sometimes we let some things or some special people slip by us…
He held me while I cried for what seemed like hours. My body exhausted, felt as if it had nothing holding it up but the gentle pressure of his arms…
Her smile brought back memories of a childhood without fear. Of a time when everything was almost unreal. We could stay in the moment laying on the beach forever. Telling stories, laughing over jokes and gestures…
I couldn't believe he was telling me all of this. Not that I didn't want to hear it. But he was coming to me for advice, he trusted me enough to tell me what was going on. I felt honored that he felt he could talk to me, and glad that he could feel I was someone who would be there for him. And that was definitely what I was going to do…
I would never forget the time we all huddled together under what little shelter the tall building's roof side provided us. It was raining hard, but I didn't even feel the cold of the rain because I was amongst them…
Ever heard of a gratitude list? One where you concentrate all the things you are grateful for to remind you how beautiful life is on to one list. How short or long the list is insignificant, but the content that burns into our brains when you stop and think for a moment is what does matter. Some people try to have a gratitude list, whether written down in a diary or an imaginary list in the back of their mind, that kicks into action as soon as they get upset about something trivial in comparison.
I love the word gratitude. It conveys a genuine message, about being thankful. Of being appreciative. Of being, I guess the key word, -Aware' of what you have and finally grasping its meaning to you. Things like being grateful for your health, for your family, for your job, for your friends etc. But getting even more specific. It's easy to just write down areas in your life, but really sitting down and getting down to the nitty gritty about what makes life unique to you is where it really gets serious. When you can actually FEEL gratitude. When you stop thinking about what you don't have and what you actually do. While it's nice to work towards something you would want or like to have, it's actually a pretty big deal to think of what you already have. In a way it sort of plays into the lines of, -I don't need to know where I'm going, I only need to know where I've been'. While that's more of a path in life. Its relative because you might not know what's going to happen in the future but you should stop and take stock of what's already happened to you, who is important to you and what you are truly grateful for.
Instead of reaching for happiness through materialistic things, try looking at what truly makes you happy in this moment. I mentioned family and friends previously. So after making your own gratitude list and trying to recall it in your everyday life, why not go a step further and write a people gratitude list. It's almost like testimonials for the people in your life. With technology seemingly taking over a lot social interactions, wouldn't it be cool to sit down and think about what makes the people in your life unique and why you love them.
I thought deeply about this late the other night. If someone were to pass away, move away (or lose contact even after having a distant friendship), have a near death accident, or anything that would keep you from being close to that person, how would you react? Would you feel guilty for letting such a busy life, let you take for granted all that person meant to you? It's a pretty powerful question. We always read in articles and self help books, to hug a person you love each day or something like that, and while it seems like a lot of effort to reach out to loved ones and build stronger relationships (they take work) why not? Aren't loved ones just or if not more important than anything else.We have time to read all the trends and emails each day. From a 1 minute gesture, to spending a day out with a close loved one to let them know they're special to you, isn't much hassle. It actually improves quality of life. Why spend time chasing people that don't really care about you, and spend time with the people that do, and always will be there for you as much as they can.
So, with all those whirling thoughts in my head, I could hardly stay in bed. I got up and came up with my Someone Who gratitude list. A sort of hit list in a way. I wrote down all the people who mean so much to me, near and far. How could I fulfil my need to let them know how they help shaped the person I am today?
Forget those bandwagon-only-when-the-sun-is-shining-but-never-when-it-rains kind of friends, that sounds a little rough, what I mean is we have different kinds of friends who I'm sure are amazing when you get closer (if ever). But this list is for those really special few who really clicked, who I let in my -circle' of confidants, and were able to confide in me, depend on me and I the same to them. And who needs a special event to remind them how important they are to you, why wait for a birthday or anniversary to say such sweet words to someone. I wrote down ideas on how to surprise people with unique methods such as a bunch of flowers on a random day, sending over a cup of hot chocolate on a rainy day, becoming a singing telegram, writing a long letter of how much they mean to you, painting a picture for them, writing a song in their honour etc. And even when there's no feeling of urgency to do this, life can throw so many unexpected events, we never know what will happen. Don't wait for the time to come when you say 'I didn't know what was going in their life" or 'I never got to tell them how I felt".
My Someone Who list has grown considerably since I first started it, I realized there were a lot of -silent' special people, people who did things in the background to help without making a huge song and dance about it. It's almost like a romance, you have to continually come up with creative ideas to share with them.
So why call it a Someone Who list…Well, why not?
Ok that's being cheeky. The real reason, is because when I write my list, example thinking would go along the lines like the following:
He's Someone Who would lie down next to me in a disease ridden hospital all night, just to make sure I feel ok. He's Someone Who would tell me his fears and not feel the least bit worried about sharing them with me. He's Someone Who has a really sensitive nose. He's Someone Who I want to spend the rest of my life with, knowing that while we would have our trials, he's the one I would want to experience them with.
He's Someone Who understands me inside and out. Someone Who lets me follow my own path but gives such amazing wisdom that I can get from no one else. He's Someone Who I would jump in front of a train for just so that he would be okay.
She's Someone Who teaches me how beautiful this world really is. Her positive attitude, hilarious stories and wonderful sense of who she is gives me a reason to appreciate life all the more. She's Someone Who has a big heart, who puts family first and definitely knows who is important to her. She's Someone Who is intelligent and witty, always guiding me when things get rough.
She's Someone Who would tell you truth no matter what, but still be gentle. She's someone one I can laugh wholeheartedly with and truly be myself in her company. Her genuine, upbeat nature makes everyone smile. She's Someone Who would travel hours just to spend together for a few minutes to spend time together.
Well I could name a lot very special people in my life and give hundreds of examples, but this is why a Someone Who list can really be powerful. The examples I gave are pretty general feelings. When I made my own Someone Who list I really got into specifics.
I hope you are able to feel the changes in your life as I have in making a Someone Who list. Like I implored earlier, you really need to take it seriously when you're writing or thinking about it. Things can get lost in your memory, but when you do something with intention to really know who those people are and why, you find out things about yourself and them all over again. And wouldn't you rather know people as they are, someone who is strong or kind, finishing their degree/battling anemia/won ms. tugun (you're up to date) instead of, Someone Who?
By Camille Lariana