My name is Kylie and I'm 20 years old. I would like your advice about something that is having a strong effect on my life.
I am engaged to a really great guy, we have been together for close to 2 years and before that, we were best friends for 4 years. Now I had always said I would never settle down or get married unless it was to him and here I am.
Trouble is, we are moving along different paths, I have just quit smoking cigarettes and I quit marijuana a while back, which has made me see the world completely differently. Now I don't hold it against him that he does but he is constantly depressed and miserable and it's affecting my sanity, we also have a pretty crappy sex life (I'm just not interested in it with him anymore). A month ago I thought I could spend the rest of my life with him but just recently I've been getting the urge to be my fun, loving, free-spirited,wild self again.ALSO I have never felt attracted to any other guys while being with my fiance but the other night I met this guy who made my heart thump harder than it ever has before, and I haven't stopped thinking about him. He told me that he liked me and we have been calling each other almost every day (in secret). Last night, I was so close to going to see him and I'm glad I didn't because I know something would have happened. I called this secret guy today and told him that I really like him but don't want to see him until I sort out my feelings and end my relationship which could take a while and he's totaly fine with that (which makes me want him more). I know that this guy and I could have a lot of fun together (not necessarily in a relationship) and thats what I feel I need.
I would love to be able to go and do my own thing for a while & possibly get back with my fiance in the future.How do I break up with my fiance without him wanting to kill himself (I'm almost positive he's suicidal)? And how do I explain my feelings for wanting to be free without hurting his feelings?
Please Help me, I am desperate.
It's perfectly natural at your age to want to be free, have fun and date a variety of people. You shouldn't feel guilty about this. If you explain to your fiance in a caring and gentle way, I'm sure he'd appreciate your honesty. If he's truly suicidal, you're certainly not responsible. He needs professional help in that case.My advice is that you don't make your life about either guy at this stage. You've clearly fallen out of love with the first one but are not sure of your feelings for the second so it's unwise to make any promises or commitments right now. Keep yoir options open, go out and have fun guiltlessly whilst still remaining caring and you can't go wrong.
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