A. My husband and I are in the process of a divorce. He said he needed time to think on whether or not he loved me and wanted to be with me. Now, even though the divorce is still going through, he has decided that he loves me and wants to be with me. I am now the one who is questioning whether or not I love him and want to be with him. He has hurt me so much by continuing to pursue this divorce. He seems to think that I am feeling the hurt of the divorce and if given time to heal, I will have a clearer picture of what I feel for him. Is he right? Is there anything that can be done to get myself to a clearer mental picture of what I want?
A. I think he could be right in this instance. Everyone has doubts sometimes.Most of the time, we don't act on them. At least your husband told you straight out he wasn't sure of his feelings instead of going off and having an affair.
After some `time-out,' he has decided he wants you and it's just up to whether you can forgive him. Forgiveness is easy when we think of how imperfect we all are. Your hurt is that he could've seriously thought of divorcing you but everyone deservesa second chance.
If you love him, cancel the divorce and start again but look at how your marriage could be improved. Write to me direct if you think some email counselling might help you.
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