I am 19 and I have recently started seeing my flatmate's nephew who is staying with us for a while. For the past month we have been inseparable... until my flatemate found out we were seeing each other. She completly flipped when she found out saying how uncomfortable it makes her feel and that I should never have gotten involved with her family. She has so far come up with about 5 totally different reasons why we shouldn't be together. She also says that because I've never really had a serious relationship before, her nephew is just a convenience.
My flatmate's reaction is exactly the reason why we didn't tell her in the first place. She refused to talk to either of us for the first few days and while she appears to have calmed down a little, I know she won't accept the relationship. I think the whole situation is absolutely ridiculous and it has caused us a significant amount of stress. She has been very difficult and won't listen to reason as she is a very strong-willed woman. There have been so many tears that I just want to come to a solution.
I recently spent 5 days away from my partner and felt miserable the whole time. I know I can't be with him while we are all in the same house but I know I can't be without her altogether either. My flatmate's friendship is important to me but I think she is being unreasonable to the suggestion of us being happy. I feel like I have a second Mother. What happened to following our hearts? Do you think she has a say in our relationship? Should I move out to save our friendship? I am so confused and hurt by all this that I don't know how much longer I can take it before I snap. Help!
A/ Why are you giving your flatmate so much power over your life and happiness? I can understand that she's protective over her nephew but after the initial shock, she should have settled into the idea. If she likes you and she presumably does if you're flatting with her, what's her objection? I suggest you sit down with her privately and ask her this very question. Obviously you're not satisfied with the reasons she's given you so far.
Beyond that, you have a right to date whomever you choose. If it gets too heavy, find another place to live. A boyfriend you really like is more important than a flatmate, even one you thought was a friend.
Body Talk Column is hosted by Charmaine Saunders. www.charmainesaunders.com
Send your requests to firstname.lastname@example.org