I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I'm 19 and he is now 22. We were having problems and he broke up with me about six months ago. He said he wanted to travel, just hang out with his friends etc. I found it really hard to move on and I saw him only about once a month.
During Christmas time, I got a message from him, saying how he was in hospital because his heart was playing up and he wanted me to stay with him because he knows I can relax him and make him feel better... I was blown away at the fact he needed my help so I agreed and since that time I have been hearing from him a lot more..
I had started to go out more on the weekends and try to move on with my life, but I still love my ex boyfriend... I think that he knows that I'm able to move on because I tell him what I do, and I feel that he's now trying to keep up with me by telling me he's got heaps of plans on and that he's going to all these places (when we were together he would never step foot in these places).
After I started talking to him again, he brought up the subject of being close friends and having casual sex. I set down rules for him, that he wasn't allowed to be with anyone else and that he wasn't going to use me because I'm not that type of person. I believe him because he hasn't done anything wrong like that to me ever.
It's been 2 months since he's said that to me and I see him once every couple of weeks but I get text messages from him a couple of times a week.
When I first stayed at his house again, I found it very uncomfortable, and I would always tell myself to not get close to him, not to touch him etc. but now I feel that I'm able to lie on his chest, and he touches my hands etc... it feels just like it used to be. I'm pretty sure I'm able to move on, but I don't know if I should see how this goes, and see if we'll get back together..
I'm really confused because I don't know what to do about it, or what it means. I'm too scared to ask him because I don't want to get hurt again.
A. To be totally honest, I don't think this guy is really committed to a relationship with you. He may very well love you but that's not the same as wanting to be with you in a long-term relationship. He doesn't seem to want to let you go but only reaches out when he needs you. When you appear to be moving on, he tightens his grip again. I really think you'd be better off to see other people and get on with your life. If he changes his attitude, there might be a chance in the future but don't sit around waiting for him in the meantime.
Body Talk Column is hosted by Charmaine Saunders. www.charmainesaunders.com
Send your requests to firstname.lastname@example.org