Q. I am going through a break-up at the moment. I dont feel the same for the man. He is giving me a hard time. I have told him that my feeling have changed and he says that there is a lot I can do for that. Please help. Tell me what to do.I have already moved out and am enjoying myself with my two boys. He keeps on telling me that I can do a lot more to try and improve my feelings.

A. Your question answers itself. It seems to me that you have already done a lot to `improve your feelings by leaving this relationship! You dont say why you wanted to end it with this marriage but the point is - its YOUR choice. He doesnt have to like it or accept it. And even if youre wrong, its your mistake to make. I dont feel, however, that you are wrong because you say you are happy in your new life, which is a pretty clear indication that you know whats right for you and youve moved on.

Its sad for this guy if he still loves you but dont let him play with your head by making the whole situation your responsibility. Yes, you can learn to love someone again if the relationship is a positive one and you want to work on it. But if you dont, theres really nothing more to say. You cant force feelings you dont have. They may come back at a later date or they may not.

You dont need me to tell you what you already know but I suggest you lay it out to your husband very clearly. Ask him for some time and then agree to see him for closure. Be honest with him if you dont know why your feelings changed but tell him you cant go back.

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