Q. I am going through a break-up at the moment. I don’t feel the same for the man. He is giving me a hard time. I have told him that my feeling have changed and he says that there is a lot I can do for that. Please help. Tell me what to do.I have already moved out and am enjoying myself with my two boys. He keeps on telling me that I can do a lot more to try and improve my feelings.

A. Your question answers itself. It seems to me that you have already done a lot to `improve your feelings’ by leaving this relationship! You don’t say why you wanted to end it with this marriage but the point is - it’s YOUR choice. He doesn’t have to like it or accept it. And even if you’re wrong, it’s your mistake to make. I don’t feel, however, that you are wrong because you say you are happy in your new life, which is a pretty clear indication that you know what’s right for you and you’ve moved on.

It’s sad for this guy if he still loves you but don’t let him play with your head by making the whole situation your responsibility. Yes, you can learn to love someone again if the relationship is a positive one and you want to work on it. But if you don’t, there’s really nothing more to say. You can’t force feelings you don’t have. They may come back at a later date or they may not.

You don’t need me to tell you what you already know but I suggest you lay it out to your husband very clearly. Ask him for some time and then agree to see him for closure. Be honest with him if you don’t know why your feelings changed but tell him you can’t go back.

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