Porn Obsessed Boyfriend

My boyfriend of four years is preoccupied with pornography, always behind my back and to the point where he doesn't seem interested in me because he's rather look at porn. We fight about it constantly but he denies it's a problem. I can't stand it much longer. Any tips for making him understand it's the porn or me?

A. Your boyfriend appears to be addicted to pornography if his level of involvement is as intense as you say. On the surface, it might seem deviant and strictly to do with sex but in fact, his interest in pornography could stem from any number of other sources. hboyfriend as to face up to this fact. Nothing will change until he does, I'm afraid. Your telling him he has a problem only makes it worse and I wouldn't recommend issuing any ultimatums either.

You could apply some reverse psychology and stop complaining about the porn. You might be quite surprised at the effect this has. I also suggest you read up on the nature of addiction in any of the many books available on this sYour ubject in your local library or bookstore. Point out to him that you're not trying to curtail his personal freedom, that it's the degree of his porn pleasure that worries you.

Ultimately, you're going to have to decide whether this guy's worth hanging onto under the circumstances. You can't ever change anyone but you don't have to stay in what you consider an abusive relationship. By all means, try my tips but maybe what he needs more than anything is a wake-up call. Stand up for yourself and let the chips fall where they may.




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