Whether you are struggling with your body image, you've fighting with a close friend, or you just feel stuck in a rut. There comes a time in everybody's life when they need to start fresh again.
Mindset expert Pat Mesiti says "We all have to realise in life, that setbacks and failures are common to everyone"
So here's what to do to move on and be happy
Ask yourself, what is it that I can control?
There are some things you will never be able to control. However you've got to look at what you can control.
Look at the worst case scenario and ask yourself, -how bad is it really?'
Many of us lose perspective in a crisis.
We need to realise that all of us, when it comes to our setbacks need to envision what's possible in the future.
We need to explore other options. We need to evaluate the situation and see if it's going to really work.
We need to execute a plan for our future.
You can't get out of where you are without a plan. You can't get out of what you are without exploring options.
We need to realise in these words…"This too shall pass".
No crisis lasts forever. Understand that one of the greatest things that you can learn in the crisis when you're feeling lost is that how you leave the situation will determine how you enter the next.
Pat Mesiti knows how to get out of a rut, he grew up in a volatile home riddled with alcoholism, battled with depression in adulthood, his marriage broke down 'For 18 months I battled and struggled with the deepest darkest depression. Three times I tried to commit suicide. Fortunately I failed."
After starting fresh again, he has now turned his life around, to be a self-made millionaire, world renowned motivational speaker, author of eight books, his latest being Pathway to Prosperity and has even raised over half a million dollars for charity.
Question: What inspired you to become a mindset expert?
Pat Mesiti: It wasn't something that I set down and seriously thought about, but it kind of evolved seeing the need for people to really shape the way they think. Obviously part of it was my work with young people and seeing how a lot of them were sabotaging themselves through drugs and I realised that the challenges has more issue on their thinking than the problem of addiction.
Question: Why was it important for you to -start fresh again'?
Pat Mesiti: Firstly, to really be a great example to other people but also because I believe that there's so much more inside of any human being outside of their mistakes.
Question: What's involved in starting fresh again?
Pat Mesiti: Having a clear picture of what you want.
Having determination to achieve.
It's important to have persistence.
It's important to have the right kind of people around you.
Question: How can we start fresh again regardless of how deep we are in our situation?
Pat Mesiti: We can all start a fresh again regardless of our situation if we don't give up. We must see our mistakes as an event not a permanent condition. We've got to get a dream, a compelling future for ourselves and not just for ourselves but so others can be motivated and inspired.
Question: What do your books teach people?
Pat Mesiti: My books teach people how to do life well. Whether it be in relationships, whether it comes to money, or whether it's in shaping their future. It really simply is about teaching people how to do life well and prospering in their everyday lives with some practical information.
Question: How should Australians approach the situation -stuck in a rut'?
Pat Mesiti: I think Australians should get out of the stuck in the rut mentality. Some people want to get stuck in the rut because it's all they know or they're comfortable with it. They should approach it with a strong determination not to stay stuck in a rut but to see themselves having a great future and not being stuck at where they are in life right now.
Question: How does understanding control help us move on?
Pat Mesiti: I think understanding the concept of control for yourself is very important. The importance of controlling your mindset and controlling your behaviour in order to achieve your goals is an important concept.
Question: Why is a plan most important when approaching a change of mind situation?
Pat Mesiti: I think it's important because you can gauge how much you are growing. Planning simply chunks things down in bite size pieces. It's a bit like you can't eat an elephant in one bite, or you can't eat a steak in one bite… You've got to cut it down into small size portions. That's why a plan is important. The vision is a big picture; the planning is a small step to get there.
Question: What types of things should we plan or set as goals?
Pat Mesiti: The things we should plan or set goals for is basically everything. If you want a good marriage, plan it. If you want good health, you've got to plan it. If you want good finances, you've got to plan it. Nothing happens by chance, things happen by choice and by design. And if you want to design your life, it's important that you design it. What ever that area is you design it and you create it by planning for it.
Question: What are important affirmations to say to ourselves to aid us in moving on?
Pat Mesiti: I think it's important to affirm things like our mistakes are an event, not our permanent condition. Here's another one: What I do daily will determine what I am permanently. Another good affirmation is: Good things come to me. And really believe that. It's getting your belief systems and repeating them verbally so that it touches your heart and your mind. Another good affirmation is: I can't change what I constantly tolerate. Speak to yourself positively to get positive results because after all, life and death are in the power of our tongue. And what we speak comes to pass. Speaking affects our behaviour more than what we realise.
Interview by Brooke Hunter