New eHarmony book provides a step-by-step guide to dating again.
Dr Gian Gonzaga, an internationally renowned psychologist and director of research and development at relationship website eHarmony.com.au, is the editor of a new eHarmony® book: Dating the Second Time Around: Finding Love That Lasts. Providing powerful insights and tools that will help people returning to the dating scene find and maintain a great relationship, this internationally published book is the perfect read for those looking to find love this Valentine's Day.
"This book aims to help you understand yourself better and equip you with all the tools needed to find a relationship that's better, stronger and more satisfying that your last," commented Dr. Gonzaga.
"The book compiles all of the insights we at eHarmony have developed by studying thousands of singles and married couples over the past decade. It also contains practical relationship advice to help people overcome common dating obstacles and make better relationship choices. As the director of eHarmony Labs I've come across many people looking for love again after a divorce, bereavement or the end of a long term relationship. The people we meet in our labs are often ready to find love again but are unsure about where to start or how best to put themselves 'out there'. "
Divided into 10 chapters, Dating the Second Time Around is packed with invaluable advice including self-analysis quizzes, compatibility tests, guidance on how to create the perfect online profile and encouraging success stories.
The first three chapters focus on helping singles learn more about themselves; what could have gone wrong the last time and how to find someone who is compatible:
Chapter One: Looking at You
Chapter Two: What Went Wrong The Last Time?
Chapter Three: Compatibility Explained
The next four chapters focus on the early stages of dating and starting a new relationship - how to find a partner; tips for the first date; and how to manage the early weeks of a new relationship.
Chapter Four: What Do You Want In a Partner?
Chapter Five: Looking for that Certain Someone
Chapter Six: Dos and Don'ts on a First Date
Chapter Seven: The Early Weeks
The final three chapters look ahead to when a relationship has become established.
Chapter Eight: Making It Work
Chapter Nine: Special Challenges the Second Time Around
Chapter Ten: Preparing For Commitment
Chapter Eleven: Keeping It Fresh and Fun
'Dating the Second Time Around: Finding a Love That Lasts' is available from leading retailers including Borders, Dymocks, Big W, Target and K Mart.
Dr Gian Gonzaga is the director of research and development at eHarmony and head of eHarmony Labs. He has taught, presented and published extensively on topics relating to relationships, love and health, and has received numerous honours and awards for his work, including the prestigious National Science Foundation minority Predoctoral Fellowship and Psi Chi National Undergraduate Research Competition.
He is a member of several professional and academic associations including the American PsychologicalAssociation, the American Psychological Society, the Society for Personality and Social Psychology and the International Society for the Study of Personal Relationships Dr Gonzaga holds a doctorate in Personality-Social Psychology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a bachelor's degree in psychology from Gettysburg College in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.
California-based eHarmony, Inc. was founded in 2000 and is a pioneer in using relationship science to match singles seeking long-term relationships. Its service, available in the United States, Canada, Australia, the United Kingdom and Brazil, presents users with compatible matches based on key dimensions of personality that are scientifically proven to predict highly successful long-term relationships.
Dating the Second Time Around: Finding Love That Lasts
Author: Dr Gian Gonzaga
Buy it now at Angus & Robertson
If one of your goals in 2011 is to find a partner, its important to first take some time to think about exactly what you want out of your love life in the new year.
To help you realise your relationship resolutions, Dr Gian Gonzaga, eHarmony.com.au relationship expert and director of Research and Development at eHarmony Labs, has some tips to help prepare yourself for love in 2011.
1. Write down what is most important to you in a partner
Most people have never taken the time to write down everything they would want in a potential partner. When it comes to your values and personal beliefs youll want to find a partner that is on the same page as you. Writing down these characteristics helps you uncover what youre willing to live with and what you cant live without.
However, it is important to have realistic expectations of a partner. Setting the bar so high that even a superhuman couldnt reach it only stops you from meeting someone you might actually like. Nobody is perfect, but you should never have to settle.
2. Be confident and happy
People fall in love with someone they want to be around. Think of your greatest attribute, or ask a friend to name it, and whether it be your intellect, kindness, sense of humour or smile, focus on that attribute to gain more confidence. Feeling down? Walk into a room with a smile. Scientists have found that smiling actually makes you feel happier.
3. Never miss an opportunity to meet someone new
The key to successful dating is to never let an opportunity pass you by. Broaden your social network, take up a new hobby and let your friends and family know youre ready to date and looking for the right person. Online dating is a great way to quickly improve your chances of dating success because the profiles reveal so much about the person that you can narrow in on who you might think is a potential good match. You can also get to know the person over the phone or online before having to meet face to face.
4. Stop comparing yourself to other people
With dating comes rejection. Not every person is going to be a successful fit with you. He or she may not have felt the connection or spark that you might have but that doesnt mean that there is something wrong with you, it just means you havent found the right match.
5. Ask yourself what you did right and do more of that next time
Its important to be optimistic that you will find the right person. Have a positive attitude and be determined to have a good experience. If the person isnt the right match for you at least youll be expanding your social network or gaining dating momentum.
Most people want a happy and self-confident person as a partner. If your date wasnt a success, ask yourself what anecdote you told that got a great laugh, or what story you recounted that the person seemed to be really engaged in and simply do more of that on your next date with someone new.
6. Only date when youre ready to find love
You have to be willing and ready to meet your perfect partner. If you are still in love with your ex you may not be ready to give 100 per cent of yourself to someone else. However, you cant wait forever. Take some time to find out whats really holding you back before you try and get back in the dating world.