Part survival guide, part memoir, Out There by hilarious columnist and social commentator Kerri Sackville is a must read for any woman thinking about launching herself back into the dating game in midlife.
When Kerri Sackville began dating again after a long marriage, she made every mistake known to womankind. She swiped right on scammers and fakers, spent weeks fruitlessly texting, agreed to long dates with the wrong men, and got involved with hot messes and commitment phobes.
She also met amazing men and went on sensational first dates, and learned how to navigate the minefield that is dating in midlife.
Now, in this comprehensive survival guide, Kerri is sharing her wisdom with you.
Peppered with hilarious anecdotes from her five years on the scene, Out There covers everything from ghosting to negging, from Friends with Benefits to players, from the perils of chemistry to the pain of breakups. She will show you what to expect when you join a dating site, which men to avoid, which men are worth a shot, and – most importantly – how to protect yourself along the way.
Ever practical, Kerri also includes handy advice on everything from writing your online profile and the -reverse image search' to what to pack for a sleepover and how to make an early exit.
Out There is the essential book for any woman jumping on the rollercoaster of midlife dating. Kerri may not be able to find you the man of your dreams, but she will help you survive the ride with your dignity and sanity intact. And you will definitely laugh a lot along the way.
Swipe right on Out There, and enjoy the ride!
Kerri Sackville is an Australian author, columnist, and social commentator. She writes regularly for Sunday Life, SMH online and news.com.au, on topics ranging from sex and relationships to parenting, mental health, current affairs, and whether white chocolate is real chocolate (it isn't). She also makes frequent appearances on television and radio. Kerri is the author of two other books; When My Husband Does The Dishes... (2011) and The Little Book Of Anxiety - Confessions From A Worried Life (2012).
Author: Kerri Sackville
Question: What inspired Out There?
Kerri Sackville: When I separated from my husband of 17 years and started dating, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I made every mistake that could possibly be made, from dating the wrong men, to falling for liars, to compromising my boundaries. And so now, five years down the track, I've written the guidebook I wish I'd been able to read after my divorce. It's too late for me, but I can save other women!
Question: Can you share with us a story from the book?
Kerri Sackville: There are so many stories! One of the stories in the book is about the very newly separated man I dated for a while. He was lovely, but a complete mess, and the whole relationship was a disaster. And this is incredibly common when you're dating in midlife. Men tend to use dating to heal their emotional wounds after separation, and it can be really painful for the women involved. My advice is to give very newly separated men a wide berth until they sort themselves out.
Question: What are three of the most important questions to ask on a first date?
Kerri Sackville: How long have you actually been separated? (You'll be amazed how many men will give the impression that they've been separated for 'ages' and it turns out to be a couple of weeks.)
What are you looking for? (Does he want a friend? A hookup? A relationship? A therapist for the evening?)
What's your relationship like with your ex? (Hopefully he's reasonably resolved about his breakup. If his face contorts with rage when he says her name, or, worse, he starts to weep, abort!)
Question: What's the most important advice you'd give to a newly single woman?
Kerri Sackville: Take your time before starting to date. It's important to be okay within yourself before you meet people. You don't need to be baggage-free - none of us are at this age - but if you're very fragile or distressed or desperate or angry, you're not going to make good choices. And then, enjoy! Dating can be hugely exciting, and lots of fun, as long as you have the right attitude.
Interview by Brooke Hunter
Author: Kerri Sackville