We all have times in our lives when we start to despair - it may be a temporary blip or something bigger, longer and seemingly insurmountable. Angéla Kovács, Being You facilitator for Access Consciousness understands what this is like, having been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and other autoimmune conditions at the age of 30. However, Angéla believes there is always a way through it if you ask yourself the right questions. Doing this has saved her from the depression, pain and even suicidal thoughts that came with her challenges, and now she helps others in her classes do the same.
"I was orphaned at the age of 12 so it wasn't the easiest of starts. When I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis later on, I was told I would be in a wheelchair and could only move with high steroid use. I had to quit my job as a nurse and I was so miserable. When I discovered Access Consciousness I learned the power of questioning. And along with some gentle body work it changed everything - my finance, health and happiness. I can't quite believe how different my life is now. I was struggling to get by before; now I have all the money I need and more, a great partner, and I do what I love every day." says Angéla. "It makes me realise that no matter how hard things are, you have to persist because a different life is out there for you."
Angéla Kovács lost her Dad at six and her Mum at 12. This tough start to life was further compounded with health complications (rheumatoid arthritis and other autoimmune issues) which left her in enormous pain and on constant medication. After leaving her career as a nurse, which she loved, she became depressed and suicidal. Discovering personal development organisation Access Consciousness and the Being You program, introduced her to a new realm of possibilities and changed her life from one of just getting by, on all fronts, to the complete opposite. Angéla now travels the world facilitating Being You classes and lives a life she never imagined possible in the depths of her illness.
Question: What five questions to you ask your clients when all hope is lost?
Angéla Kovács: If I put all the energy I am using to try to solve this problem, into creating something, what would that be? Sometimes when we exert everything we have into trying to heal or fix an issue we forget to look at anything else outside that. It keeps our lives small and devoid of other possibilities.
Do I truly understand that I always have a choice - in every situation? When things get hard it's easy to think there's no way out, but you can always make a choice to change something about your situation, however minor. We are not victims - there is always choice available.
What brings me joy? Am I doing anything that actually makes me happy? Even when Angéla's pain levels were really high, she used to go dancing or outside and enjoy being in nature, as it brought her joy and reminded her there is always happiness to be found - even in the darkest times.
Are the things I believe about my difficult situation really true? Or is it possible they come from someone else's thoughts and opinions? So often we absorb the judgements of others so completely that we start to think those thoughts are actually ours. Your parents, friends, siblings, partners and colleagues' opinions are not yours. You have you own inherent knowledge and awareness of what works for you.
Am I making excuses that are keeping me stuck? This is a tough question to ask yourself but if you can be really honest, you can make huge shifts very quickly.
Question: Why should we never give up?
Angéla Kovács: If we give up, we validate newer ways in which we invite for giving up. If we don't give up, newer possibilities can open up instead. I didn't give up when I was abused, and now I look at it in a different way, and I invite people to look at their own potencies. I also didn't give up when I didn't have enough money, and now I have money and I can afford more and more things for me. I didn't give up when my whole body was in such a pain that even the strongest painkillers didn't work and I wanted to scream, and now I am able to manage that pain and live a fulfilling life. I didn't give up when I felt totally alone in the world, when no one understood me, and now I inspire people to choose themselves without separation. Imagine what can happen if you didn't give up too!
Question: How did you learn this lesson?
Angéla Kovács: Watching people who were close to me give up. I went against this, even though I very often was close to giving up and did give up for certain intervals. But, I picked myself up and kept trying. As a nurse I saw the power of not giving up, even in situations that seemed almost impossible. I've seen from a lot more places to give up, than to not give up. And yet I know that it shouldn't be like this. It's been a long journey and still everything is changing continuously. The most important thing is that you don't have to strive for perfection; you just need to try and be the best person you can be, for you. I would like this possibility to exist for everyone.
Question: How did constant questioning turn life around, for you?
Angéla Kovács: The question is energy. The more we ask a question, or more questions, the more difference it creates. The energy of our lives becomes different, and the energy of everything around us becomes different, too. When I am stuck with anything, or when there is a difficult situation in my life, I ask the question: "What is this again?" It seems very simple, but asking it will help you see a situation completely differently, and it immediately becomes a lot lighter.
Question: How do our thoughts affect our health?
Angéla Kovács: Having negative thoughts and giving in to your inner critic will make you become more stressed and overwhelmed, and this can have a dire effect on your mental health.
Question: What can we do to stop having negative thoughts about ourselves?
Angéla Kovács: Negative thoughts can't exist with gratitude. Think about what you're grateful for every day – your body, life, the world, your family, your job – the list goes on! If you write these down every single day, you will find those negative thoughts are not longer as loud, important or strong as the grateful, positive ones.
Question: How can we stop making excuses that make us stuck?
Angéla Kovács: When we use excuses we want to be normal. What we don't often realise is that it's so much better to acknowledge and accept our different and our unique qualities. If you're willing to simply be yourself, you'll find yourself making far less excuses. For example, "when I have this skill I can do this." Or "I'm not good enough to do or have this." These will dissolve when we simply accept ourselves, choose to be our amazing, different selves and make choices that are in line with who we are.
Question: What currently brings you joy?
Angéla Kovács: When I see people's lives change before my eyes in my classes.
The earth, nature, air and water, brings me joy.
Great coffee, food, fruits and travels bring me joy.
It brings me joy when I laugh, when my body is at ease and when I dance!
It also brings me joy when I perceive that something has changed in the world, and I've been part of it.
Question: Do you have any daily rituals?
Angéla Kovács: Spending some time with my body every day.
Creating something every day that I haven't created before.
Trying out something that I haven't tried before.
There is no regularity in it, I embrace everything that comes my way throughout the day!
Question: What's a typical day like, for you?
Angéla Kovács: I don't really have a typical day. Of course there are things that I do wherever I am. What's typical in my days is that I am in continuous creation. What can I create today for my body, my life, others and to the world? Whether I travel to courses or I facilitate courses, I do lots of things – I love multi-tasking! Many people sit down and "think" about doing something, for me, I just do it! I like continuously creating, for me this is one of the best ways to relax.
Interview by Brooke Hunter
Photo by Clarisse Meyer on Unsplash