The Well-Behaved Teenager (and Other Myths)

Think "well-behaved teenagers" are a myth? You're not alone"you're also not helpless. If eye rolls, shutdowns, shouting matches or silent standoffs have you at your wit's end, The Well-Behaved Teenager (and Other Myths) offers a lifeline.

Melbourne-based clinical psychologist Dr. Jari Evertsz draws on over 20 years of experience to guide families through the chaos of adolescence"and out the other side. Blending compassion with clarity, this ground-breaking book challenges the idea that conflict and disconnection are just part of parenting teens. Instead, Dr. Evertsz reveals the science-backed strategies and everyday tools that help families rebuild trust, reduce drama, and raise emotionally skilled, connected young people. Inside, you'll learn how to:

1. Uncover the real reasons behind defiance, withdrawal and shutdowns
2. De-escalate conflict and set limits without losing your cool
3. Help your teen recover from disruptions and bounce forward
4. Support your teen's developing brain and growing independence
5. Build a family culture of communication, cooperation and care
6. Access outside help when you need it"without shame or stigma

Written with warmth, wisdom and real-world insight, The Well-Behaved Teenager (and Other Myths) is an essential guide to parenting teens in today's world"one breakthrough conversation at a time.

Is your teenager's behaviour a major source of stress?

Are issues like verbal conflicts, put-downs, blank refusals and 'just not caring' beginning to get you down?

In this book, you'll discover 4 Golden Rules that will reduce the turbulence in your household - for good.

Author Dr Jari Evertsz is a Clinical Psychologist with 20 years' experience in diverse settings: hospitals, child welfare agencies and high-security jails in Europe and Australia. Originally a therapist within the prison system, Jari observed the damage which affected inmates' early lives and was inspired to go back and tackle the problem at source; childhood.  Jari completed a Clinical Psychology Master's degree at the University of Melbourne and was a joint overall National Recipient of the Australian Government's National Violence Prevention Award. 

The Well-Behaved Teenager (and Other Myths)

by Dr Jari Evertsz

buy this book 

Interview with Dr Jari Evertsz

What originally inspired the idea of The Well-Behaved Teenager (and Other Myths)?

In my practice as a clinical psychologist, issues about children's behaviour have come up every week, for many years.  What  has always struck me about these situations is how unhappy everyone is.  The parents feel upset and worried that their relationship with their child  relationship is being badly damaged.  The child feels misunderstood and often angry.  I  decided to put some focus into behavioural, relationship and socio-biological principles, and away we went!

How much of your inspiration comes from real life and real people?

Absolutely all of the inspiration comes from the families that I have met.  We have usually had a wonderful time getting to know each other and pursuing new directions. But the most rewarding thing is seeing peoples' relief when things start to go much better for them.

What did you learn, about yourself, whilst writing The Well-Behaved Teenager (and Other Myths)?

I did not realise what fun it would be to write a book!  Sitting down to write about stored-up experiences was a new creative pathway.  I'd encourage everyone to give it a try – it polishes up your sense of  the important things in your life and  validates a lot of the personal constructs and values that you have built along the way.

What's the main message you hope readers take from The Well-Behaved Teenager (and Other Myths)?

Even if you and your child feel stuck in repeating patterns that neither of you enjoy, a lot of change is possible. When things start to go sideways with a teenaged child, it can be very isolating, and embarrassment can keep you from reaching out too.  But there are actually lots of resources out there just waiting to help - don't feel alone.

Can you share with us why it's important to communicate consistently?

Teenagers can come across as smart and mouthy but in reality they look to us and depend on us for a lot.  So how we communicate with them and how we deal with tricky situations is a very important resource in their consciousness.  As much consistency as possible is the key!

What's next, for you?

My clinical practice is very important and there's always lots going on there, but there's another book in the pipeline - so watch this space!

Jari Evertsz is a Melbourne-based clinical psychologist and author of The Well-Behaved

Teenager (and Other Myths), now available in eBook and paperback from https://jarievertsz.com/  and all good bookshops.