1/ The dining embarrassment. You're having dinner with a new man, a guy you've liked for ages and now your finally having a wonderful date, everything's been perfect, and he keeps looking at you and smiling. After a while you find that you need to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. As you walk in holding a big smile on your face (because every thing's been going so well) you see the hugest piece of lettuce wedged between your two front teeth, you look like a witch. And although it's easily removed, your embarrassment is not.
2/ The skiing embarrassment. Now for those who have gone skiing, you all know that it's full of laughs and surprises. At the end of the week's skiing you all sit around and compete for the best 'ski stack'. You would also know that you don't go up with pride (as the saying goes, pride comes before a fall). Probably the best 'ski stack' I have seen was under the chair lifts (this is the best place to do it if you want the whole mountain to see). I watched a skier, showing off with his mates, unfortunately looking the wrong way - definitely not straight ahead, only to smack straight into a ski lift pylon. Yes there was a huge chorus from the lift for more.
3/ The tampon embarrassment. Going to pull something out of your hand bag and out with it comes a tampon, this will normally occur in front of strangers somewhere along a main shopping strip. D'oh!
4/ The glow stick embarrassment. Yes well I know they're just outright tragic now, and if you use them when you go out now it's an embarrassment in itself. But when they were cool and you were dancing about 'cooly' waving your arms in the air, one becomes alive, taking off out of your hand and bouncing across three peoples heads, before finding it's way to the floor. During this time everyone's trying to work out the culprit, and you're standing there causally with only one glow stick now going 'yeah it might have been mine.' It's worse when you do it a few times in succession.
6/ Trying to look gorgeous embarrassment. You're walking up to your new boyfriends work and he's watching you approach him, along with some of his work friends and they're all checking you out. You're wearing these brand new sexy black pants which kind of flare with a split down the side, and yes one of your feet catches the other side of your pants, and you go flying, in front of all of them. Getting up from that one takes a lot of composure. They are many variations of the tripping scenario, including 'the cool beach walk'- trip, the 'I look great, feel great and I'm going to the bar to buy my friends drinks' trip, etc
8/ Panda eyes embarrassment. This usually occurs whilst swimming with a group of friends (or so called friends), and no one bothers to tell you that you are wearing your mascara as lip gloss. Usually there's the cute guy you've been wanting all winter as a witness. You find out how bad it is hours later when you're in the bathroom, or even worse have got on public transport to get home. I can never understand why you're friends fail to tell you these things.
9/ The tampon embarrassment (pt2). While we're on the subject of swimming, you go to the beach, hesitating to take off your clothes to reveal your new bikini, and wondering the best way of walking to the beach without your cellulite looking too obvious. You get to the water. In these kinds of cases friends normally come to the rescue - as they tell you your tampon string is hanging out. And you were worried about cellulite!
10/ The period embarrassment. You've finally decided to take the leap of faith into your new boyfriends bed. It's the first time you've had sex with him. Straight after you jump up to go to the bathroom, only to find that your period has commenced heavily. You panic and wonder at which point did this occur, it must have been from the bed to the bathroom, surely you would have noticed. If you have no tampons on you, you're in more trouble, you really have to own up or get out of there. Or you can stay the night, and risk to see the results in the morning.
What I have found through my own embarrassing moments, and watching other people's the way to save face is not to try and pretend it didn't happen, (unless it's the tampon string!) If you fall, stay on the ground for a couple more seconds, and laugh (even if it did hurt). If you find your mascara everywhere, go out and say, "why the hell didn't anyone tell me I looked like a god damned panda". If you make light of the situation, and laugh it off, it's not an embarrassment, it was just entertainment.
- Louise Ganey